“When was the last time you took a shower?” was the first I said when I got into Harrys house and saw a really nasty look on Harry not in the mood.
“Shut up.” he muttered and gave me an evil eye.
“What's up with the attitude?” I asked and had to show myself in because Harry didn't bother. “Okay, then little miss sunshine...” I muttered as I was walking through the hallway “Is everyone here?”
“Yes!” a happy Niall cried from the kitchen. Then rest were sitting in the living room and I glanced a questioned gaze at Louis and he shrugged with a bit of confusion in his eyes. He didn't know either what was going on. Harry had taken a seat in one of the armchairs and I stood leaning in the door opening. “So what is going on?” Niall asked while he came back with three sandwiches on a plate and I guessed that the other two wasn't for anyone else than himself.
“I have no idea.” Liam said and sat in the sofa next to Louis and typed on the cell. “But I hope it's about Harrys bad smell. The scent is spreading it's way here.” Louis had a smile on his face when he saw Liams expression about the scent of sweat. I tried to keep a calm face but I was about to outburst into laughter in a time like this. The curtains was covering the windows and didn't let any light in and made a very depressed feeling. I pulled away the curtains and opened a window to try to get rid of this musty smell.
“I need Alison back.” we all turned to Harry who have now decided to talk all of a sudden.
“Is that what this is all about?” Niall said. “That's why I don't get involved with that kind of stuff. I am in a relationship with my fridge.” He continued and took a bite of the second sandwich.
“And Zayns cousin.” Louis added and grinned.
“Shut up, Lou.” Niall said between the bites.
“Zayn, I need to talk to her.” Harrys eyes was on me now where I stood in the middle of the room and felt the wind come in to the room. Everyone waited for me to answer and I was thinking out a really good solution to not overstep Alys wishes to not let him anywhere near me. My eyes wandered around in the quite big living room and something caught my eye in one of the corners.
“Have you gone mad?” I asked and walked over to the bottle that was hidden between the wall and a shelf. “Are you drinking pure vodka from the bottle?” I took the bottle and held it in front of me so the rest could see.
“Harry, you need to get help or something.” Louis said who was watching from the bottle to his best friend and then back again.
“No!” Harry almost screamed. “I need Alison.” We all watched each other under silence and all of our eyes were a bit scared. I have now made up my mind to make sure this wasn't continuing.
“Alright,” I said and sighed. “I'll help you. But I won't let you in to the apartment. Direct orders from Alison. I am not getting into a fight with her right now. She's like a living time bomb with all that she've gone through.” I started to shew on my underlip during I was thinking everything through. “Then we really need to act fast because there's another charming ass who has his sight on Aly and I do NOT approve about him.”
“She've moved on?” Harry now said with a bit worry in his voice.
“I don't know, Harry. I don't think so at least because he had his arm around her yesterday and she didn't really feel comfortable in his arms.”
“She never were in mine...” he mumbled under his breath and I don't think it was meant for us to hear.
“Anyway.” Louis said to break the embarrassing moment we've turned out to have. “What's your plan, Zayn?”
“I think we should give uncle Simon a call.” I said with a sneaky voice.
“You are kidding me right? We have tried Simon like five times already.”
“Oh, no we are not going to talk to him about Aly, I know where he stands when it comes to that. But what would you guy think about preforming our new single on one of the live shows? I mean the management would love it and besides, maybe Louis could use his mustache again?” I said with a smirk on my face.
“Not a bad idea, Malik.” Niall said who now had eaten all the sandwiches.
“Oh, by the way. Louis. You did forget to mention that the woman in the reception at Alys school were like an old dinosaur.” I said and winked with my eye at him and he gotten all red. “Wait til I tell Eleanor that.” I continued with a grin and everybody outburst in laughter.
“Okay, I had to. If I came back empty handed you would kill me.” he said after a while. “But now. Let's get this right, Niall and Liam are contacting the management and Simon to get a spot ready for us. I help Harry in a perfect shape and a bath with a lot of soap and you Zayn are going home or where ever you now have to do and keep Aly away from Simon today.”
“Okay, this sound like a good plan.”
“You are forgetting that Aly probably would keep her on the other side of the building the entire night.” Harry muttered.
“Well, then you could use my mustache!” Louis said happily and I just shook my head.

When I got home no one was there. I felt the need to prepare my suitcase 'cause we were going away tomorrow again to Germany and I hated to pack my bags. Instead I found some books under Alys clothes and watched them for a while. Then I realized it wasn't any books. It was Alys journals and my eager to open them was complete. I mean after all I am like her brother I should have the power to read this I resonated with myself. But when I tried to sneak a peek in the book it was all in swedish.
“Damn, Aly.” I mutterend. Damn, she was smart to use swedish in a journal. I was standing there for a while scrolling through the pages and finally I found my name and I found the date in the upper right corner. 2010. My curiosity came alive once again and I tried to figure out how to understand all the letters. I took my laptop to the bed and started to translate the text.

5th September, 2010
Dear diary,
Today I had to quit my football practice because we couldn't afford the monthly payment. It's pretty cold here right now and I wish I would go back to U.K soon. I saw a picture of him today and I felt my hear drop from my chest. I haven't seen that familiar face in so many years and I constantly go back to the times when I saw him last time in school and we all thought that I've done something wrong but instead I was sent to the hospital. I wish I would have him there with me. He would have protected me from the harm that I've caused myself. When I saw that poster of them in one of the magazines I couldn't believe my eyes. Zain was just as he always been. Dark hair, mysterious eyes and that heartbreaker smile. Would I be able to contact him ever again?

I scrolled forward and the book ended 30th December and I went over to the next one who had a blue cover on. I scrolled to the point where I found my name again and started to translate it.

23th May, 2011
Dear diary,
I can't believe I am in tears. I have a such messed up life and Zain is famous and rich by now. They were in Sweden today and I had to go to see them and dad understood. He gave me a train ticket up to Stockholm and I was an inch from him when I got there with thousands of other screaming fans. But I just couldn't. I couldn't even see him in the face and stepped back as fast as he came in front of me. I don't want him to see what I've turned up to be. He would be disappointed in me for not telling him, for being not so fortunate as him. I feel sick, need to stop write...

She knew where I was and didn't contact me? I looked up and I was watching the wall for a long time while I thought. She had the chance to contact me two years ago and she didn't? Because she was afraid? I felt the need to scream but didn't and suddenly I heard voices and laughter coming in to the flat and I looked over to the clock. Ten thirty!? How long have I been sitting here!? I started to put everything back as it was when I heard someone open the door behind me. Damn it!
“Hey, Za...” I spun around and watched in to those green eyes who was locked on mine. “What are you doing?” she asked with a strained voice and I felt the need to come up with a really good lie but she have already seen through me. “How much did you read?” she said low and looked down on her shoes.
“A bit.” I said guilty and sat down on the bed with my head in my hands. “Why didn't you contact me when you had the chance?” I asked but I knew that I've read the reason in the book. She went over to the bed without a sound and sat down next to me.
“Because I felt like a failure.” She said quietly.
“I know but you had the chance, Alison! You had it in your hands to just look at me once I would have known who you were. But you didn't.”
“Put yourself in my position.” she tried and pulled a hand through her brown wavy hair who had grown longer lately. “Would you tell me that you were broke, that you haven't told me about your dead mother and that you would probably would classify yourself as a loser?” I felt her eyes searching for mine and I met them.
“Probably not.” I said after a while. “But you should have trusted me. I'm your best friend and you should have felt the need to at least poke me with one of your fingers to get my attention at least.” And I gave her a little smile and I felt that she would let the topic drop.
“Dear Diary, I had a nice dinner with my dad today.” She started and I looked up a bit confused. “Dad have saved a bit of his savings to have afford the nice dinner tonight and he was so sweet when he have taken on his nicest tux and shoes. He was going all in.” She said and laughed of bitterness. “I couldn't go to my graduation but I don't care because everybody over there hates me. Before I met Zayn again I was invisible, a nobody and when I suddenly knew someone who mattered not only to me but to millions of fans I wasn't invisible anymore. I was hated.” she said and put her hair behind her ears and looked down on her high heels she had worn today and she trampled them of and put her tired feet up on the bed. “I'd rather be invisible for the world than hated but you can't change faith. It was faith who brought me back face to face with Zayn and I couldn't be more blessed when I suddenly had nine new friends who supported me and actually liked me for me.” I saw a tear streaming down her eye and I looked down in my hands because I didn't want to watch her cry. “I've been trying my whole life to fit in, but every time there is someone telling me that I'm nobody, that I am a loser.” She sniffled. “And then up on all Zayn tells me to not let my feelings in and when I finally open up to that one person who makes me laugh when I'm sad, who doesn't force himself on me and I put my heart out there and he practically just don't give a shit. So maybe they are right. Maybe I am a nobody, a loser. What do I know?” I watched her face who was in pain and the tears were streaming down her face and leaving grey stripes after the mascara. She was done telling her entry and I took her into my arms and she started to cry heavily and her dad sneaked in to my room and gave me a look and smiled weakly. He've heard everything...
“You listen very carefully to me right now.” I said after a while when she had calm down. “You are not a nobody and definitely not a loser.”
“Then what am I?” She whispered in to my chest and sniffled and made a big sigh.
“You are the strongest person I known, sis.”